Author Topic: Tickle Our Funny Bones (Read 179598 times)

Wolverine of Ambush! · « **Reply #125 on:** November 13, 2003, 04:17:25 PM »

THAT was a good one.....loved it:lol

ZWarrior · « **Reply #126 on:** November 14, 2003, 01:36:52 PM »

Number of physicians in the US: 700,000.
Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year: 120,000.
Accidental deaths per physician.... 0.171
(U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services)

Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.
Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) 1,500.
Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188
(Benton County News Tribune on 17th of November, 1999).

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

"Remember, Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at least one Doctor."

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.

Remember guns don't kill people, doctors do!

opiesilver · « **Reply #127 on:** November 14, 2003, 01:51:09 PM »

Well, it was funnier the first time, but Good one Z!

ZWarrior · « **Reply #128 on:** November 14, 2003, 01:56:44 PM »

Geez, we're 6 pages in, gimme a break. That's a lot of material to check.

Wolverine of Ambush! · « **Reply #129 on:** November 14, 2003, 02:48:12 PM »

BRAVO! ENCORE! BRAVO! ENCORE!

Do it again! Again I say! ROFLOL

ZWarrior · « **Reply #130 on:** November 18, 2003, 05:38:39 PM »

Thanks to Wolvy for this one!

opiesilver · « **Reply #131 on:** November 19, 2003, 12:47:56 PM »

My daughter saw that and screamed. It was about the funniest reaction I have ever seen.

ZWarrior · « **Reply #132 on:** November 19, 2003, 01:08:36 PM »

Glad we could be of assistance in your torture of young minds.

n1c · « **Reply #133 on:** November 20, 2003, 10:35:41 AM »

so, two guys walked into a bra...

ZWarrior · « **Reply #134 on:** November 20, 2003, 02:46:19 PM »

and the first one looked at other and said...

(A!)Rico · « **Reply #135 on:** November 22, 2003, 05:42:46 PM »

and said... "Did we really walk into a bra togather?"

I dont know why but after 10 minutes of this i started to laugh

http://www.revelate-rock.com/elasticbaby.html

Morpheus · « **Reply #136 on:** November 24, 2003, 09:53:22 AM »

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this?! Give me 6 Catholic,
12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptist!"

ZWarrior · « **Reply #137 on:** November 24, 2003, 12:37:11 PM »

Have you heard about 4-year-old Sammy who was asked to return thanks before Sunday dinner? The family members bowed their heads in expectation, and he began his prayer:

"Thank you God for all my friends: Joey, an' Susan, an' Billy, an' Tommy," and on and on he went, naming each friend one by one.

Next he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles.

Finally he got to the food.

"Thank you God for the turkey, an' the dressing, an' the fruit salad, an' the pies, an' the Cool Whip..."

And then he paused.

The pause was almost deafening, and all eyes were focused on young Sammy with his head still bowed in prayer.

Finally (almost when Father was about to interject an "Amen"), Sammy looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"

Wolverine of Ambush! · « **Reply #138 on:** November 25, 2003, 12:58:56 PM »

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a
beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who
owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do, Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said,
"I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead
outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was
ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water
and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger
turned toTonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and
see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel
better."

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around
Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned
to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks,"Who
owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him
this time?"

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says,...

(...I JUST LOVE THIS...)

"Nothin', but you left your Injun running."

ZWarrior · « **Reply #139 on:** December 07, 2003, 05:32:48 PM »

A HusbandMart opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?"
And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says, "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And
again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think ... what must be awaiting me further on?"
So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 --- You are visitor 1,260,459,789,015 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at HusbandMart and have a nice day.

ZWarrior · « **Reply #140 on:** December 10, 2003, 11:59:55 AM »

How test your friends "geekness"...

http://www.inktank.com/AT/index.cfm?nav=928

[Edited on 2-11-2005 by ZWarrior]

Fraggster · « **Reply #141 on:** December 10, 2003, 12:41:44 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Wolverine of Ambush!"Nothin', but you left your Injun running."

LMFAO, that was good:lol:eek::lol

ZWarrior · « **Reply #142 on:** December 16, 2003, 07:52:15 PM »

And now the joys of Bawls requests!

http://www.reallifecomics.com/daily.php?strip_id=861

opiesilver · « **Reply #143 on:** December 16, 2003, 08:22:28 PM »

"Who's up for some board chow?"

Only a true master geek will know of that reference.

Quote

Originally posted by ZWarrior
How test your friends "geekness"...

http://www.inktank.com/ATpage.cfm?toon=07-08-03

opiesilver · « **Reply #144 on:** December 16, 2003, 08:23:44 PM »

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

Quote

Originally posted by ZWarrior
And now the joys of Bawls requests!

http://www.reallifecomics.com/daily.php?strip_id=861

snauzberries · « **Reply #145 on:** December 16, 2003, 09:09:58 PM »

mmmmmm balll
I mean
mmm bawls

ZWarrior · « **Reply #146 on:** December 17, 2003, 08:31:20 AM »

badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom

Morpheus · « **Reply #147 on:** December 17, 2003, 09:04:17 AM »

[size=12]SNAKE!!!!![/size]

[Edited on 12-17-2003 by Morpheus]

Morpheus · « **Reply #148 on:** December 17, 2003, 09:08:33 AM »

been a couple months since I've done the board chow thing....what fond memories

opiesilver · « **Reply #149 on:** December 17, 2003, 09:31:54 AM »

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Author Topic: Tickle Our Funny Bones (Read 179598 times)